Friendships

Have you ever thought about all the friends who have come and gone throughout your life.  If you are anywhere close to 50 in age, you should be able to relate to this post.  If you are in the 20-something to 30-something range, you might get some of it, but you'll also find yourself saying, "what?!?!".  If you are in the 70+ range, well, sorry you're pretty much on your own.  I wasn't around back then in the "olden days".  Remember, I've said before, the "olden days" were back with my parents.  You know, back when there was one or two televisions on a block, you turned a knob and got maybe three channels (if you were lucky), and the picture only came in black and white.  (For the 20-30 crowd, the definition of a "knob":  a rounded button for adjusting or controlling a machine. synonyms: dial, button "the knobs on the television".)

Back to friends.  They come into and out of our lives, from preschool to death.  Sometimes, when we're very lucky, the very special ones come into our life and NEVER leave. Have you ever thought of the categories of friendship?

• First Friends - These were the little kids you hung out with who lived on your block.  They didn't necessarily fit the other categories, ie Church or School.  These were the kids that walked in and out your back door without ever knocking.  They opened the fridge for a glass of milk or opened the cookie cupboard when they were hungry.  When it was time to go home, they were called.  Not on the phone.  But the old fashioned way, their mom standing in the doorway of their house hollering their name.

• Neighborhood Friends - These were usually a combination of First Friends and School Friends. Their proximity encompassed a larger square footage than just a single block. You would either walk or ride a bike over to their house.  You probably knocked before walking in, but you still felt comfortable enough to open the fridge or help yourself to cookies.  There was usually an overlap of parental friendship too.  Your parents were friends with their parents.

• Church Friends - Yep, pretty self explanatory.  You saw them on Sundays and for most southerners on Wednesday's too. 

• Early School Friends - They were the ones you saw Monday through Friday, nine months of the year, for the first nine years you went to school.  (Kindergarten through middle school - or in my case junior high.) You knew them through all those awkward years, when everyone was at their not so finest.  There was self cut hair - every class had at least one kid who got ahold of a pair of scissors. The best beautician (they weren't called stylists back then) couldn't cover up the damage done to their bangs. Ironically, it usually happened right before picture day.  They'd forever be captured with bangs that started at the rootline of the forehead and giant chucks missing from all over their head.  You saw these friends when they were eating paste, stuffing crayons up their noses, acting unruly, looking unkept, prepubescent, first period, chunky, chubby, skinny, short, tall, flat chested, knobby kneed, training bras, and pimples.

• High School Friends - These were the friends you bonded with because you chose to. Proximity didn't play into their selection. You had commonality. They "got you" and "you got them ".  These friendships ran deep. My high school identity could have been described as: outspoken, social, nerdy, outgoing, preppy, artsy fartsy, theatrical, jock, honors, remedial, virgin - (thank you John G), speed freak (cars, not prescriptions), pin-up who didn't drink, cuss, or do drugs.  In high school you where either the participant or recipient of bullies, cliques or clubs. Some of my greatest friendships originated in high school and continue to this day.... so many, many, many moons past high school!  Wow, now that I see it written out, with exception of being a non-virginal drinking cusser, my identity remains pretty much intact.

• College Friends - You lived with them, studied with them, socialized with them, drank with them, laughed with them, cried with them, and puked with them. You shared ramen, pizza and really bad cheap wine. They stood up with you, and for you and after you graduated and were ready to settle down, they stood up beside you - when you said "I do".

• Adult Friends -  By the time you are an adult with a kid or four under your belt, or on your gravy train, you've pretty much left your "work friends" at work.  This leaves you to continue your friendships (if you're lucky) from any of the categories listed above and to meet and make new friends based on what's happening in your children's lives.  You know those people, they are:      

1. Parents of your children's friends
2. Parents in the PTA (*These parents join the PTA in disguise. They are there because they are:  a) desperate to get out of the house; b) desperate for adult interaction; c) desperate to avoid cooking and/or housework for an evening; or e) Complete FREAKS of nature who truly enjoy: endless meetings, fundraisers, and dry cookies - Really, wouldn't a nice glass of wine promote a little more creativity at these planning and marketing meetings).
3. Parents of your children’s sports teams and activities. ~ WARNING!!  This category contains multi-dimensional sub-levels that I'm not even going to attempt to quantify.

I consider myself blessed.  Blessed with every single friendship I've ever had.  And blessed for the ones I've yet to make.  In the words made famous by Mr. Rogers................ 

~ Would you be, could you be, my friend ~  

(Elementary/Jr High ) Julie, (High School) Alicia, (College) Anna

I'm truly blessed to STILL have all three of these BEST friends in my life!