Piss Off or Smile

Do you like to play games?  I'm not talking about the ones that we grew up on - Monopoly, Life, Scrabble... I'm talking about games that you make up.  Games that you play with yourself. No, I don't mean "play with yourself".  I mean play alone, with just yourself.

I try to pick a day during the week to accomplish all my running around errands.  Yes, it does mean that I'm out the door as early at 7:30 am some mornings (Yes, I have my business Sam's Wholesale Club card just so I can beat the crazies there!) and don't get home until some time between 3:30 and 4:30.  It's an exhausting day, but it accomplishes everything so I can blow off the remainder of the week.  You know, since I'm officially a "stay at home mom" I do nothing.  Sit around eating Bon Bon's and watching soap operas.

Okay, sorry, I have to segway here.  Early marriage with a 23 month and a brand new baby, my husband used to joke and ask me why I was ready to go to bed by 8pm.  After all, all I did during the day was play with the boys and eat bon bon's and watch soap operas.  I would nod and laugh half heartedly while I repeated the phrase, "Yeah, right" over and over.  And I would again stifle the impulse to put a pillow over his snoring head and hold it there while I was up at either the midnight or 2am feedings.

There was one defining moment in our marriage, okay I'm sure there have been several defining moments in our marriage but this is the only one that comes to mind right now.  On one exceptionally rough day, I finally had a quiet moment to myself when both boys were asleep.  The kitchen was cleaned up from both breakfast and lunch for the boys (I had not had an opportunity to eat yet), laundry done, and most of the toys picked up.  It was at that moment I grabbed a ice pop from the freezer, pulled up a stool and placed my swollen ankles up and turned on Oprah.  It was at that very second, when the "ahhhhhhh" was coming out of my mouth that ..... My HUSBAND walked in the room. (This was not his normal arrival time, it was only 3 in the afternoon.)

His reaction was priceless!  From the way that he hollered, you would have thought he walked in the bedroom and found me in bed with two other men.  "Ahhh hahhhh!!!!" He exclaimed.  "I was wrong. It isn't bon bon's and soap operas, it's ice cream and Oprah!!"  I tried diligently to explain that in no part of any country could you compare an ice cream and a freezer pop.  Come on MAN, after all a freezer pop is basically frozen kool-aid.  He wouldn't believe me when I said it was the first time I had sat down all day. So for 27 years of marriage, it's known that all I do is watch Oprah and eat ice cream.  Yeah, okay.....

Back to my made up games.  Here is the one of my favorites.  It's called Piss Off or Smile.  You keep a running count throughout the entire day of people you either Piss Off or make Smile.  Here's how it works.  You basically have to make people make eye contact with you.  That's right, look them straight in the eye as you approach.  Then just after direct eye contact is engaged, you SMILE. I'm not taking about a meager little no teeth showing grin.  I mean a show those pearlies, ear to ear smile. Then to seal the deal, you say either "hello" or "how are you today".  The reactions are priceless. I'm not going to tell you yet what the reactions are yet.  But there is usually one of three reactions.

It's lots of fun.  There's no cost involved, it's gluten free, and it won't impede your dieting. So go ahead, give it a try tomorrow then come back here and post what your experience was.

Erma Where Are You????