WWLBD

Everyone is familiar with the term WWJD.  Well, I know what Jesus would do.  But there's nothing in the bible to help you out with say: the PTA, your mother-in-law, puking children, recipes, pregnancy, and how not to kill your spouse.  For those areas I turn to WWLBD.  Yep, my mantra, "What would Linda Bollman do".  I've tried to live my life and parent by that credo.  In some instances I succeeded perfectly and in other instances I failed miserably.

For those of you who have been reading, I mentioned Linda B. and said I would tell you about her later.  Well, it's later. Linda is Michigan's version of Erma.  While she isn't an award winning columnist, highly paid speaker, or famous personality with millions of followers, Linda is an eloquent speaker - in the forty-four years I've known her, I've NEVER heard her speak in a raised voice. I'm sure my neighbors, on the entire cul-de-sac, have heard me "speaking" - in the wintertime, with all the doors and windows closed, in a thunderstorm, and the radio playing LOUDLY.

Linda has the greatest sense of humor.  She also gives the best advice.  I'm sure Linda has a following, however, I'm not sure of the number.  I know I've been blessed to have been following her since I was seven years old.

Linda is the mother of six wonderful children.  I can hear them in the background of my imagination arguing over whom is truly wonderful and who's only so-so. Each and every one of her children turned out to be smart, loving, accomplished, talented, happy adults.

She's also a grandmother to..... hmmm..... I think the number is up to seven - OH MY,  Jiffy-Doodle I'm so very sorry, make that EIGHT!  (I think....but don't hold me to that number.) Linda is married to a loving hubby - he has to be loving, after all they did have those six children. Eddie has his own fabulous sense of humor and makes the best cricket sounds known to mankind. He would be the male equivalent of Erma.  Needless to say, they make quite a pair. They are like a set of beautifully carved bookends.  They work together perfectly, holding everything together so nothing falls apart or topples.  I love seeing them together.  Their eyes still sparkle when they are together.

Linda started out in my life as a dear friend of my mother's, but ended up as my friend, my second son's Godmother, and one of a handful of very special women in my life.  As I grew up, so did my love and devotion to this incredible woman.  Some of the lessons she's taught me:  1) Towels don't have to be perfectly folded.  As long as they're clean and somewhere close to the bathroom you're good to go. 2) If you need to take a break, do it. The vacuum can be turned on later - in the day or the week. 3) Who needs to go to the carnival or the movies - pop some popcorn and let the kids create their own. 4) Shit happens - don't dwell on it, get over it and move on.  5) You can say no. Sometimes you might need to use both hands to help, but with time and training you can look anyone in the eye and say NO.  I've found this incredibly beneficial at PTA meetings and sport fundraisers.  6) Your husband comes FIRST, always. Linda and Eddie have date night Fridays and their own quiet time when he walked in the door from work.  It was their time to decompress before the family converged. (I never quite accomplished our own private decompression on a daily basis, but I did manage it from time-to-time.) And one of my favorites, it's five o'clock somewhere..... :)

Linda never complained about the twenty something kids that regularly ran in and out of their house. No one ever knocked or rang the doorbell.  She had an open door policy.  Upon reflection, I'm surprised we didn't wear out the back door hinges.  Or maybe we did and I just didn't know it.

Once, I got sick at elementary school.  Linda was my emergency contact should my mom not be available - yep, that was before everyone had a cell phone attached to their ear.  Well,  Linda came and got me and took me home to her house.  She made a bed for me on the couch, put a cool compress on my forehead and a trashcan next to me. She held my head, rubbed my back and fluffed my pillow. It was the most wonderful pukefest of my life!!

She's only but a phone call away when I need her, however, these days I'm more apt to get her answering machine which proudly states, "We can't come to the phone now, we are out spending our children's inheritance".

"WWLBD"